Today is the first day of my classes through the Institute for Integrative Nutrition. As I was reading through my materials, watching videos and listening to lectures I found myself overwhelmed with excitement for this upcoming year and the possibilities this training opens up for me. I quickly opened another tab and posted on Facebook about what I was doing. After I pressed "post" I had a sudden sense of dread. A worry about what other people will think when they read my post.
I've always been a very active person. Yoga, bellydancing, horseback riding, hiking, mixed martial arts, karate, modern dance, drama, running, cross country, soccer, basketball, volleyball, backpacking. I love being outside and active. But I've also always loved food and I'm an emotional eater. So despite my high level of activity I've always been heavy. None of that compares to the weight I gained a couple years back and have horribly maintained. With the added weight came a extreme lowering of self confidence. So despite my passion for exercise, health and nutrition. I always feel like such a fraud talking to people about it. I mean surly they're listening to me and then looking at me and thinking "yeah right, like you know anything. If you know so much how come you're such a fat ugly cow?"
So that is what popped into my head the second I posted my plans to become a Certified Holistic Health Coach and better my own health and those of the people around me. "Oh dear God what have I done?!?" The panic set in. So I got up and walked away from the computer. I've been listening to these pre-classes for school and I was choosing to ignore that negative voice that says I can't do something. Haven't people since I was a child told me how stubborn I used to be? How I refused to accept limitations and therefore blew threw the pre conceived limits proving that nothing is impossible. That's right! Just because I look one way on the out side right now doesn't mean that is how I am inside!
That burst of self-confidence didn't last very long. I found myself back at the computer ready to delete my post. But in that little time things had changed. Already numerous friends had liked the post and many people had posted positive uplifting comments. Holy crap! Dose that mean people don't look at me and think all the negative things I always assume they think about me? Mind blowing!
So my thought for the moment. Don't always assume the worse. All you do is convince yourself of limitations that don't really exist. Whats the worse thing that could happen? Can you accept that? Is it something you can live with? Whats the best thing that could happen? How does that make you feel? Then freaking go for it!
Yeah, that's right. I'm going for it. I refuse to accept no for an answer. This is my life and I'm tried of living it a certain way out of fear for what others think. From the sticker on my lap top from college: Those who are different, change the world. Those who are the same, keep it that way.
Be different. Change the world. One person at a time and watch the world ripple.
No comments:
Post a Comment